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tips: Escape your dating rut
Marcy Barack, Match.com
Are you desperately seeking your soul mate but striking out more than a big league hitter sent down to the minors? You could be trying too hard to make romance happen — if so, your date can sense it.
Or maybe you're not finding that certain someone because you're too picky, focusing on the perfect match. You envision yourself as a jigsaw puzzle missing the perfectly contoured piece that will complete your flawless fantasy. You know, Super Romantic Couple, posing on a promontory, sunlight glinting off thick glossy hair, capes lofting in the wind.
Wake up
Enjoy the dating process for what it is — an adventure. Not every date is going to introduce you to The One, but dating can and should be gratifying. All it takes is a little amorous attitude adjustment on your part.
- Go for it
Wear red. Get a wild new haircut. If you are continually striking out, you may need to change the way you address the bat. Present yourself differently and perhaps you'll find more interesting people responding to you. Try a quick search and look for someone younger or older. Your next Jack or Jill could be a click away!
- Laugh out loud
No date's a dud if you can laugh about it. If you can find the humor in the moment, that's great. But not every date is going to wow you with a 20-minute monologue straight from Seinfeld. Discover the amusement in Saturday morning's rehash of Friday night's debacle. Call a friend and groan together over your date's endless recitation of what happened at his or her high school reunion.
- Investigate
Everyone specializes in something. If the conversation isn't clicking over dinner, ask questions to uncover your date's secret passion. An ardent enthusiast can make the dullest topic enlightening. I am reminded of one excruciating evening spent with a date who waxed eloquently about different bricklaying patterns.
- Live in the moment
Don't focus on tomorrow or next month or the wedding you'd like to schedule; enjoy the pleasures of being with someone today. We could all use a reminder that every moment shared with anyone is unique. When you meet a new match for coffee, the cup is always half full. Cultivate a positive attitude so that time spent on any date is never time wasted.
Lighten up about romance. Date quite a few people and enjoy the time you spend with each of them. Search for local singles and make a date for the weekend! |
